Counsellor In Vienna: How Different Approaches Work to Solve Relationship Problems
As a relationship therapist, I base my treatment on clinical recommendations and guidelines for evidence-based methods, which include couples-focused cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), person-centred counselling, rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT), emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) and EMDR, delivered online or in person in Vienna (1060 Wien). Each approach addresses specific aspects of relationship distress, and I usually combine these techniques in my client-tailored integrative therapy.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) for Couples Communication and Mental Health Issues
CBT is a well-established treatment for couples’ communication problems, including those associated with mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD, and OCD. CBT was originally designed to treat depression and anxiety, and it has proven its effectiveness in that, through its fundamental techniques, such as
- cognitive restructuring through identifying and challenging cognitive distortions and negative core beliefs,
- employing behavioural interventions (behavioural activation, exposure)
- practising mindfulness and relaxation
Moreover, in a couples therapy setting, it was shown to be helpful in addressing PTSD and the consequences of psychological trauma suffered by one or both partners. Trauma-informed CBT involves, among other techniques, identifying trauma-related triggers, developing coping strategies and managing emotional dysregulation.
According to cognitive behaviour theory, developed by Aaron Beck in the 1960s, it’s not the situation itself that makes us act in one way or another. Rather, it’s the way we interpret that situation. And that interpretation in a relationship context largely depends on the communication style. Therefore, during a course of CBT-based couples therapy, whether in-person in Vienna (1060 Wien) or online, we work on developing healthy, functional communication skills:
- problem-solving,
- empathic listening,
- assertive expression versus criticism, and
- sharing opinions without blame or accusations.
Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) for Couples to Solve Communication Problems
REBT for couples communication issues, which also belongs under the umbrella of CBT, focuses on
- understanding the desires of each partner,
- acknowledging them,
- recognising each partner’s entitlement to their desires and,
- learning not to escalate these desires into rigid demands for the partner,
- taking responsibility for your emotions.
Importantly, our course of REBT-based couples therapy, offered both in Vienna and online, aims to develop.
- flexibility,
- acceptance, and
- compromise skills.
Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy in Vienna to Address Intimacy Issues
Emotion-focused therapy for couples works best to treat “disconnection” and intimacy issues, including when one of the partners may have a mental health condition such as depression, PTSD, anxiety and ADHD. It targets, as implied, the emotions and how they influence communication, and it works on exploring one’s own feelings and needs first. EFT for couples aims at learning healthy emotional responses
- by addressing defensiveness and hopelessness,
- de-learning blaming, accusing, or criticising the partner.
EMDR Therapy to Treat the Consequences of Psychological Trauma in One or Both Partners
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing EMDR is an evidence-based therapy that was initially devised to treat trauma and PTSD. It was later developed to help with other issues (anxiety, depression, OCD). EMDR has also been shown to work well in a couple’s setting. It may address commonly experienced trauma or the repercussions of individually experienced traumatic events. EMDR works
- to defuse the past from the present,
- to “process trauma” by desensitising it in a controlled therapeutic environment.
Gottman’s Techniques for Couples to Improve Connection
John Gottman’s techniques can be very helpful for improving communication, tolerance of individual differences, and empathy, particularly through the exercises on
- building love maps,
- sharing fondness and admiration,
- building trust and commitment, and
- creating shared meaning.
Discernment Marriage Counselling in Vienna (or Online) to Consider Divorce or Separation
This method is used when the topic of divorce becomes a priority or a significant concern for the partners. The discernment counselling process aims to help couples clarify, in a structured and reflective manner, whether to pursue separation (temporary or permanent) or divorce, or to work on the relationship with the aid of longer-term couples therapy.
Does couples counselling work?
The answer depends on two dimensions: what you mean by ‘’work’’ and the severity of problems that you bring to treatment. How do relationship partners expect counselling to work? Based on my work as a marriage counsellor over the past decade, both in-person in Vienna (1060 Wien) and internationally online, I’ve observed that couples’ expectations generally cluster into three types of outcomes.
- Improving the quality of the relationship. This may involve resolving communication problems, addressing parenting disagreements, improving intimacy, “growing” in the relationship or a combination of these.
- Crisis intervention: This typically involves affair counselling, infidelity therapy, trauma counselling or grief and loss interventions.
- Deciding on the best path forward. Whether that is separation (including a temporary one), divorce, or working together to move forward in the relationship
However, the desired outcomes are not always clear, and partners may have different goals for therapy. Thus, one of my tasks is to help the partners align or adjust their goals.
Coexisting Physical or Mental Health Concerns
Moreover, coexisting physical or mental health concerns may complicate each of these outcome categories. These concerns often comprise depression, anxiety, ADHD, post-traumatic stress or consequences of trauma, and alcohol problems. For example, attention deficit or hyperactivity in one or both partners can profoundly affect communication and intimacy. ADHD needs to be better understood (e.g. through the WAIS-IV test) and addressed in specialised treatment, such as CBT for the inattentive type. The coexisting concerns may also involve physical health conditions, such as cancer, chronic pain, heart disease or type‐2 diabetes. When individual mental or physical health problems are present, therapy emphasises partner support. Research and clinical practice show that couples counselling is effective for both relationship difficulties (general or specific) and coexisting mental- or physical-health-related issues.
Limits of Couples Therapy
However, in some instances, so-called contraindications can impede counselling. The typical contraindications are substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse (which may result from substance abuse or happen when personality disorders are involved, such as NPD or BPD). I’d add an ongoing extradyadic affair as contraindicated for couples therapy, too. The partners need to address any contraindications either prior to or in parallel with couples therapy.
Insights of a Couples Counsellor in Vienna: When Therapy Works Best
Relationship interventions do not aim to change a partner but to learn how to communicate healthily, compromise and commit to emotional responsibility. When that is understood and contraindications are ruled out or addressed, I’ve seen many couples make progress during our therapy in Vienna and online.
A general rule for couples therapy to be effective in improving the relationship is for both partners to be motivated, to “lean in”, to commit to working on the improvement and to be open to individual change.
Several studies have enquired into the ingredients of the effectiveness of therapy. Interestingly, the largest slice of the effectiveness pie chart does not represent therapy-specific factors (the type of therapy used) but general ones: the therapist-client connection, client factors (including commitment and motivation) and expectations. All three account for about 70% of therapy outcomes, with the therapeutic alliance alone contributing around 30%.
Relationship Counselling in Vienna: Location, Fees and Booking
My therapy practice is located on Stumpergasse 48, 1060 Wien. The therapy fee depends on the duration and setting of a session (online, in person, individual, joint) and varies from 70 to 120 euros. To book a session, please fill in and submit this form. I usually respond within 2 – 6 hours.